End of Summer Fun

The weather is cold in Bar today. It's windy and rainy and cold. I guess summer really is over. I had a great summer, I have to say. Summer in Ukraine is incredible, as those of you who come to see me next year will find out.

I got back yesterday from my last summer trip. I went to Kiev to celebrate Ukrainian Independence Day with a bunch of my friends. It was a lot of fun. There were tons of people in Kiev for the holiday. It was really neat. There were no official celebrations however, because of the Russian airplane that crashed in eastern Ukraine. The country was observing three days of mourning, so all festivities were postponed until the day after the actual holiday. Still, there were a lot of people in town that day walking around with Ukrainian flags, drinking beers and generally enjoying themselves.

Early on in the day I bought two small Ukrainian flags and I spent the rest of the day waving them around exhuberantly. Sometimes I would flap them like crazy, other times I would make graceful circles in the air. It was quite fun. A few people even mistook me for a Ukrainian probably thinking, surely only a Ukrainian would flap around flags with such gusto.

In the evening, my friends and I went out on the town. It was then that I purchased some more accessories. Along with my flags, I spent the evening walking around wearing a headband with two big, orange, foam pigtails sticking out of it AND a clown nose. I bought both at a stand in the center of town. Sky bought a headband that had two foam hands sticking out of it. One was making a peace sign and the other was making a "hard rock" sign. Hailey, Dave's friend visiting from the states, bought a pink, shimmering wig. We were quite a trio, though I was the only one wearing the clown nose. Ukrainian girls generally, always look picture perfect. Appearance is uber important here. Seldom, if ever, would they try to look foolish just for laughs, so you can imagine the stares I got on the street. It was great fun. The more people stared, the more ethusiastically I waved the Ukrainian flags at them.

After Kiev, Dave and I took a quick trip down to Crimea and spent a couple days by the Black Sea. Our trip was fun. We stayed at a "bed and breakfast" in the home of our friend Marilee's host parents from training. At 10 dollars I night, I thought it was a pretty good deal, though Yulia thought it was funny that I paid even that much. We stayed in a town just outside of Sevestople, I forget what it's called though. We got in on Saturday afternoon and spent the rest of that day lounging by the beach. In the evening, night we took a fairy back across the bay to Sevestople and watched three really cool firework shows.

Sunday we spent entirely at the beach. The water was warm and clean. The beach was rocky and beautiful. Late in the afternoon we rented a paddle boat and paddled out until we were the farthest boat out on the water. There were hundreds of small jelly fish way out there, and we jumped (well, I jumped and Dave flipped) into the water from the back of the boat and swam with them. Then we just paddled around looking for bigger jelly fish, which we did see. At one point I got really excited because I thought I saw a stingray, but it turned out to be a backpack.

We left Monday morning. My train left at 11:50 in the morning and didn't get in until 8:45 the next morning. It was kind of a treck, but I had picked up a bad book when I was in the peace corps office and it occupied me during daylight hours. Now I'm back in Bar. School starts on Friday, though really, it probably won't start for a few weeks. It takes that long to iron out schedules. Maybe by the end of September I'll know my schedule. I plan on being back in Kiev this weekend. I'm going with Jennifer to take her sister to the airport. I intend to post more pictures on line when I stop into the office. Everyone deserves to see me in my Independence Day attire.

The pictures I posted before are of my street sign (I live on Karl Marx street); my kitty pheobe; my host family during training in traditional Cossak dress; my friends in Bar, Anya, Yulia, Ira and Roma; and me smelling like a lot of old wool.

Oh Ukraine...

I'm boycotting one of the two internet places in town because the owner called me a fool. Not to my face, but under his breath. I guess he assumed I haven't learned anything since coming to town seven months ago. I'm annoyed though, because now I have to boycott his establishment, which means there are only four computers in Bar that will get me on-line, and only three that will let me check my email.

The thing is, he's the fool. He's the 35-year-old man getting annoyed that my email is slowing down HIS gaming even though I'm the only customer in the club and he should just be thankful for my business. They really have a long way to go when it comes to customer service here. Sometimes it's like, well excuuuuuse me for buying milk. Excuse me for asking you to give me cheese. It's not my fault everything is behind glass.

Oh Ukraine,

My friend Emily was away from her site for most of the summer. She returned last week and saw one of her neighbors in the hall. It was the first time she'd seen him since June and he said,

"You were away so long and you got fat. Too bad."

When I lived with my host family here in Bar, my crazy host mom routinely slapped my ass and told me it was gaining weight nicely. Then one day she slapped it and told me I should watch my figure if I ever wanted to get a man. I assured her I didn't, at least not a Ukrainian one. My friend Sky's fiance is always telling her she needs to lose weight, that's she's too big. He doesn't mean it to be offensive, it's just the attitude here. In America, you might comment if a person seemed to have lost weight; but you certainly would never tell them that they've gained it. And you would NEVER tell someone they got fat while they were away.

When I was out east for Dave's birthday, we went over to his friend Sveta's apartment. Sveta's mother-in-law was there too, and the first chance she got, she pulled me into one of the bedrooms, pointed to a stationary bike and asked me if I wanted to ride it. When I said no, she said,

'Oh, you are so thin. How much do you weigh?' I told her I didn't know and she ran off and got her scale, put it on the floor and told me to stand on it. Then she bent over to see what it said. After I stepped off, she stepped on and pointed down to the scale for me to look. Then she put me back on the scale on last time, I guess to make sure she read it correctly.

And again I say, Oh Ukraine...

Yesterday I had a meeting with the Mayor of Bar. It seems I've been roped into writing a grant to install garbage cans throughout the city. It's a good project, and I suppose I don't mind having to do it, but I was pretty much forced into saying yes and I'm slightly bitter about that. But, how could I say no to the Mayor, the Deputy Mayor, Jennifer's host parents and the Director of my school? Plus Bar really does have a trash problem so it's not like they were digging for money for some superfluous reason.

Anyway, the Mayor is a nice guy. His daughter is one of my students, one of my good students in fact, and he said he'd heard good things about me, so that was nice. He also said he heard that I played basketball well. I swear, I can't sneeze in this town without everyone finding out about it, and I suppose that's as much small town life as it is life as the foreigner.

Summer is winding up pretty fast. Next week I'm going to Kiev to meet my friends. The 24th is Ukrainian Independence Day and we are going to rent an apartment near the center of town. I think spending Independence Day in the capital will be pretty interesting. After that, Dave and I are taking a quick trip down to Crimea to enjoy our last few days of freedom, I mean summer, on the beach.

Maybe by the time I get back and my school schedule is finally sorted out the internet club will be under new managment and my inconvenient boycott can end. Oh, who am I kidding...

Fixing Klitchko

I don't know who had a more horrifying morning: me, or Klitchko. Though I'll wager it was him since he's the one who lost his balls.

Klitchko needed to be nuetered. I've known this since I got him, but things became more critical when Pheobe came into our family. Any more cats around my apartment and I really would become the running joke of the town.

Finding a vet proved harder than I thought it would be. Most people with pets never nueter them. It's considered "unnatural" so instead, they let their animals have babies twice a year, every year, and put the babies out on the street.

Jennifer's host mom, Anya, asked around for me and in the end, introduced me to a sweet old man who used to work at the Vetrinary Hosptial...somewhere. I never got the specifics. He agreed to nueter Klitchko for me, said he'd done it many times before, and that it would be quick and painless for my buddy. He would come to me, do it at my house, and all I would need to do was buy the drugs from the pharmacy.

At eight o'clock this morning, I knocked on his door. We then walked to the pharmacy where we bought some penicillin, iodine, and something to numb Klitchko's rear. I was hoping we'd also buy something to put him to sleep, but that didn't happen.

Once at my apartment, Alec got his tools out of his leather breifcase. He pulled out two small metal boxes full of scissors, tweezers, razors, string, syringes and large needles. It reminded me of the animal doctor in the Disney movie "The Rescuers Down Under." If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's worth watching the movie just to understand my growing trepidation about what exactly the two of us where going to be doing to my cat.

Now comes the horrible part. Perhaps many years from now I'll be able to chuckle about things but right now, I'm still in shock. You should know that Klitchko is fine. He's alive (yes, there were some moments when I doubted it) and in good spirits all things considered, though I imagine his hangover will last him well into the night.

Our first and only problem was getting Klitchko to lie still so the dirty deed could be done. Alec looked all around my apartment for things "to help." First he asked me if I had any big jars. I found one for him, not sure what exactly he was going to use it for. I held Klitchko while Alec attempted to wrap gauze around his hind paws. Klitchko did not appreciate this and soon began meowing and growling. He never swung at me, but he swung at Alec and got him pretty good. Alec got one hind paw tied and then decided it would be best to tie Klitchko down on the stool in my kitchen.

I put him down and Alec tied his body to the stool. Klitchko wiggled out, but not before Alec bound his hind legs together. There was more meowing and growling. Alec was concerned that Klitchko would scratch me and bite me and I suppose that is why he shoved Klitchko's head into the jar. This of course, freaked my poor cat out even more. He meowed loudly and his meows echoed into his little head and he tried frantically to get out, wiggly and crying and growling. It was horrible. He manage to wiggle his way out of the jar, but not before breaking one of his bottom teeth on the glass.

I told Alec, no more jars! He's breaking his teeth on the jars! Alec agreed, deciding to tie Klitchko to the stool even more. He wrapped more gauze around Klitchko and the stool. He tried to wrap it around his kneck, but decided against it when he realized Klitchko would fight it until he choaked. He tied two towels around Klitchko and the stool and my poor baby just got more frantic. I don't blame him. I was feeling pretty frantic myself.

Then, Alec asked if I had any vodka.

He filled up one of his big syringes with vodka and forced Klitchko to drink it. Klitchko spat most of it out and Alec did it again and again. In all, he probably gave my little buddy 50 to 100 grams of vodka, maybe even more. It's hard to tell. Klitchko, drunk, fought slightly less. I was able to hold him while Alec went about his dirty business from behind. He sliced and popped out one little ball. Klitchko screamed and cried and I very nearly did too. Then Alec sliced and popped the other one, but this time, as he was doing it, Klitchko screamed really loud and then went totally limp.

I immediately began to panic. He's dead! I said over and over again. I didn't know how to say "He's passed out," or "He's fainted" and frankly, I thought he was dead. It took Alec a moment to realize what I was trying to say. Then he shook Klitchko but he only flopped around. Get water! Alec told me. I was frantic as I grabbed my tea kettle. Alec threw water on Klitchko but nothing happened. Then he began to quickly untie all the gauze and towels. He got his scissors and even cut through my decrative dishtowel. I kept pulling on Klitchko while he did that, trying to get him loose from the stool. He was limp. His eyes were gone. He wasn't breathing.

Alec took him from me and put him on the floor, splashing more water on him and kind of slapping him around. Alec was pressing on his chest and batting him around and I was sure that my little guy was a goner. I couldn't sense his presence and it freaked me out. I was seconds away from swooping in for some mouth-to-mouth when Klitchko took a small breath and I saw his little chest rise.

I started to cry. Klitchko looked at me as if from a haze and I was just so happy he was alive. Maybe he didn't die, but in my mind he had, and he'd come back to life. Alec slapped more water on him and Klitchko became more alert. He stood up, but then fell back down. He tried again and took a few drunken steps. Alec seemed almost as relieved as me. Don't cry, he told me. He's going to be okay. It's just the vodka. He's drunk, but he's going to be okay. This isn't the first time I've done this. Don't worry. Don't be sad. Then he came over and gave me a big, grandfatherly kiss on my cheek.

Alec left after a few minutes of observing Klitchko. He left behind iodine, some cotton, gauze and two little testicals that would make smashing earrings if that wasn't so disgusting.

Klitchko stumbled around my apartment for a little while before falling asleep on my lap. He's spent most of the day at my side. I thought he'd hate me for months, but I guess he's a sweet and forgiving drunk.

And I, I'm just happy he's alive and the deed is done and I'll never have to have such a horrifying morning again in my life.