Happy Birthday Valya

I have a young stalker, I believe I have mentioned her before. Her name is Valya, she's in the 6th form, and she just really, really likes me. She's always asking if I can go walking with her in the afternoons, or if she can come to my house and see my cats, or if we can meet on the weekends and hang out. She often makes "Best Friend" cards for me, or gives me candies, or small toys.

I have never gone strolling in the afternoon with Valya or had her over to my house, mostly because I haven't wanted to. But when she asked me last week if I'd go walking with her on Friday, and then told me it was her birthday, I caved.

So on Friday, I met Valya outside of the teacher's room. She was bouncing around with excitment, talking a mile a minute (in Ukrainian. Valya knows no english. She's a very, very poor student). I thought we were just going to go walking, but Valya had different plans.

"First," she told me, "We'll go to your house so I can see your cats. Can I see you cats? Please, I want to see your cats. I love cats. I don't have cats. I want to see your cats. Let's go see your cats...."

We went and saw my cats. Valya really liked them, Klitchko especially because he is sleek and black. She picked him up, swung him around, clutched him to her chest and snuggled him. Klitchko, to his credit, was a champ. He's not a snuggly cat except with me and even then, only on his own terms. Most people who try to pet him get a playful swat. But for Valya, he went limp and let her have her way with him.

We spent about 5 minutes at my apartment, after which Valya said,

"Let's go to the store so you can buy me a cake. Will you buy me a little cake? Do you like cake? I like cake. My mom bought me a cake yesterday but it's small. I don't think it will be enough when we go to my house and Alina, Vadym, Vicka, and Valentin come. We're having a small party. Did you know?"

I hadn't intended to buy a cake for the occassion, but again, I caved, and we ended up at the store. They all looked the same to me, so I told her to pick the one she liked. She picked a nice little chocolate cake that cost 8 hryven. Not a big deal at all, but it meant the world to her. She was beaming and telling everyone we passed on the street,

"Look at the present my American friend bought me! She bought me a cake for my birthday!"

We went to her apartment. Being there was awkward and depressing. It really explained a lot about her as a student and a person.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into her apartment was the stale smell of cigarettes. The second thing I noticed was that it was very messy and dirty. In my experience, this is very unusual for Ukrainian homes. I have been a guest a lot of places and I can honestly say that I have never been to a messy and/or dirty Ukrainian home. The walls had been stripped of wallpaper, but not thoroughly. I thought perhaps they were remodeling, but they weren't. There was also clutter everywhere, dust clumps on the floor, old food on the counters -- just general filth.

Valya's grandmother was there when we arrived, and I thought perhaps she lived there too, or at least came by in the afternoons to watch Valya and her brother. This wasn't the case. She had come by to use the bath, and stayed for mayber 20 minutes after the kids got home. She spent the whole time saying terrible things about Valya's mother. She accused Valya's mother of being lazy, of being a bad cook, of being a drunk, of being a bad mother, of being loose. She asked about Valya's father, and Valya replied:

"He only comes home when he's not drunk. But he is usually drunk and we don't know where he is."

Valya's grandmother never spoke to me. I said hello, but she acted like I wasn't even there. It was...awkward. After she left, I tried to help Valya set up for her party. She said she didn't know if her mother would be there or not. She wasn't sure where he mother was. I tried to help her tidy up and set the table for her friends, but she wouldn't let me do much. So mostly I could only watch and cringe as she did things like wipe crumbs off plates with a dirty old towel -- or with her skirt -- and put them out for her friends to use.

I had told Valya that I had to leave at 3 o'clock before we had gotten to her apartment. Eventually, three o'clock rolled around and I made my escape. I'm glad that I went, that I bought the cake, that I spent that *awkward *uncomfortable time at her apartment because it meant a lot to her. But I've gotta say, three o'clock couldn't come fast enough.